Confidence

Tonight was a rough one. Ryan forgot to brush his teeth this morning and when he realized he had forgotten, it was just the last straw. He started saying that he was a bad boy who always made mistakes and just needed to have the policemen come to take him away. At first I tried to tell him how much it hurt my feelings for him to say these things to me, but then I realized that wasn't helping. He was hurting and in his state of mind he couldn't comprehend that his words were hurting me too. I decided that the best thing would be to try to focus on all the good things he does, do I grabbed a posterboard and gathered the kids around and we all started listing all the good things about Ryan. This starting to calm him down a little, but he was still determined that he was a bad boy and did not deserve any praise. So I did the only thing a mother can do, I held him and comforted him as best I could until he managed to calm down to the point where he could start telling me specific things that were bothering him.

Ryan has no confidence in himself, and this is something that has been building for a while now. He has difficulty making even the smallest decisions, he feels the need to ask permission to do even the most basic task, and even when he makes a choice he worries that it as the right one. I am still at a loss as to how this happened and how to fix it. That being said, I believe we may have taken a step in the right direction tonight. After we talked and Ryan calmed down I grabbed some index cards and a marker and wrote out some quick instructions for him for the mornings. This list will hopefully give him confidence in his morning routine, and will help him know that he is doing a good job. I also wrote out a quick affirmation for him to read every morning and taped it to the bathroom mirror. On three separate cards I wrote, "Everyone Makes Mistakes", "Mistakes are Okay", and "You are a Good Boy!" I told him that I wanted him to read these cards every morning. Reading these tonight with him already seemed to have a positive impact on his attitude. Hopefully over time he will remember these things in his heart and will not worry so much about making mistakes or not being a good boy.