Step Three: Shake Things Up!

After you have opened the lines of communication with your child, and you have gotten him into a good manageable routine, it is time to start shaking it up! He needs to learn that life will not always be exactly the same, and that change can be a good thing.

I remember early on, when we finally got the boys down into a working routine they were comfortable with, my husband and I would live in fear of the moment when something different would occur. Fire drills at school, early release days, anything out of the ordinary were upsetting for them, and we needed to learn a way to help them cope with those situations. At school they would start talking to the boys about fire drills and any other oddities days in advance. We learned from this and also began prepping the boys at home for anything outside of our routine. As we did this we also started to change the routines up occasionally on purpose. We would intentionally have them brush their teeth before putting on their pajamas, just for the sake of change. The boys resisted at first, but soon learned that it was okay if they did things differently. In fact, we gained a new motto from this: "Today is different, and different is okay."

Now, pretty much every day is different for us. We do still live on a basic routine, but the routine is not set in stone. The boys are able to understand that the little differences are not that big a deal, and have even come to enjoy surprise treats such as a trip to the movies on a whim, something I would have never attempted just a few short years ago.